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AREA 47
Turbo-Phrase 1
+Warning: Turbo-Phrase Lists contain
Extremely Offensive Terms!+
+Proceed At Your Own Risk!+
Boys will talk when the girl leaves the
room. Blacks have a few things to say about whitey.
Wanna join a gang? Dis the non-gang members! Want to be
cool, find somebody to put-down. So you say you'd like to join
the Power-Clique? Start by making fun of the losers. If
the Power-People laugh, you're in! Language gets pushed to the
limit in the search for creative new ways to insult. Best is
when you slight someone, and they don't even notice, like when a
Black man calls a white man: "Jack."
In the current Ultra Politically Correct
climate (circa 2005) people put-on their public-face and tip-toe
around the ugly hard Truth whispering pretty cotton-candy
false-impressions to non-group members. The trash-talk picks
up the moment the insiders get rid of the outsider.
Because this is a Writer's Resource, and
not an attempt to offend or insult anyone, I am going to pull the
worst 10% off this list. If you really want the unexpurgated
list, write me at hg47@a47.info
and I will send you a link to George Carlin's Seven Dirty Words, and
a shit-load of bad-ass Turbo-Fecal-Phrases he didn't mention.
Even at 90%, I'm sure a lot of people
will be offended. I'm sorry! I could cut it back to 50%,
just leaving in the whisper of pretty cotton-candy, but then it
wouldn't be much of a Writer's Resource.
Contains Language Spoken By Pimps & Rap
Stars
Language Offensive to
Women
Blacks
Catholics
Men
Jews
Straights
Gays
WASPs
Asians
And Short People
"He’s
a cold Dude, chilled out."
“Very chilly--a frosty Dude.”
“Absolutely. The Dude’s sub-zero, packing major ice--he could’ve
dropped the Titanic.”
“He’s way North, totally polar--I mean, capped.”
Frostbite is what happens when a Dude puts a dull jerk in his place
with a few righteous remarks.
“Her hair was babooning down her back.”
Eliminate the dull.
“No amount of acrobatics, batteries, or chemical stimulants can
replace a good kiss and a deftly controlled missionary position.”
At a party, an obviously inebriated girl asks the Dude if he will
walk her home. The Dude complies. However, halfway down the block,
he notices that her panties are falling down around her knees. He
pulls them down for her.
The Dude asks a girl to dance
and she declines:
a) “It’s all right--I won’t make fun of the way you dance.”
b) “Yeah, I never accept charity, either.”
c) “I guess I have to give that money back to your dad.”
d) “Shit! Now who am I gonna cast in my movie?”
e) “Oh, well, another lonely night on the yacht.”
f) “What is it with us Kennedys?”
“Quota on the madness, Dude.
Let’s kick back and scope some random nasties.”
“These bitches are too legal, Dude. Screen that growth she’s hanging
with.”
“Lunar eyes and rocket tits.”
“Absolutely worthy.”
“Let’s pound another brewsky.”
a couple cans short of a 6—pack
“His elevator doesn’t go all the way up.”
“Y’know, stuff like that.”
ten years older & fifty bucks richer
“Oh that was last year’s stuff.”
pick the one
“Pick to click.” = the one to watch
click = groove or make it
literary kamikaze mission
dip switch = stupid person
“She’s a real dip switch.”
“I think one of her dip switches is set wrong.”
“Your job is going to be dust.”
dust destroyed
“Ride the porcelain bus” = throw up
"Pray to the porcelain god" = throw up
“The lights are on, but nobody’s home.”
“Not all of his chairs are pulled up to the table.”
“He doesn’t get every channel.”
“He’s not playing with a full deck.”
“Is this seat taken?”
“Of course not, silly, it’s still there!”
“You’re losing it, Louie” =
you’re not cool anymore
all lined up
“I’m so stoked that . . .” =
“I’m so cool that . . .”
stoked = cool
a wing nut = a crazy
the wing nut sister = the crazy sister
shred = make a serious mistake
popped = “kids can’t do nothin’ without gettin’ popped!”
“You do good work, Lady.”
"She’s in demand at dinnertime."
“I’ve gotta jet.” [take off]
“Hit the afterburners.” = jet
Pull the rip-cord.” = jet
raggin’ on you = to bug or get down on someone’s case
You’re looking at serious entertainment.
“Give her an inch and she’ll
take a mile.”
"I’d like to give her a few inches."
“I don’t use cocaine--but I
sure like the smell!”
her hair freshly electrocuted
“What did you do to deserve me?”
perfenalia (paraphernalia)
designer monosodium glutamate
SURE FIRE FORMULA FOR HITS:
Defy authority, destroy property, take people’s clothes off.
check out the popcorn palaces
(see if there’s any good movies)
“This is dead: it’s a
singles’ holding tank.”
“Well, cop some golden rays of universal cool, Daddy!”
"Take shit from no man, woman, child, or small mammal."
“If you’re gonna stay cool, you gotta put something down!”
He gave him a few righteous
remarks.
“Information Operator, does
it have to be the exact name?”
“If you want the exact number.”
“Punch me with a time clock.”
“The dark realm of the Dull.”
“Wears a Roach Motel around his neck.”
Mosquitoes see her and scream: “Buffet!”
“In field test after field test, women agree.”
“He’s capable of violence in his sleep.”
“Is this how Bogie and Bacall did it?”
“Functional, fashionable, formidable!”
“You can tell when she’s lying--her lips move!”
“It’s the Bimbette Sisters!”
“She’s the best toy money can buy!”
“Well, Stars and Stripes my future, baby! Don’t read me your
Constitution!”
“Woman is the man of the world, baby!”
“Now there’s a loud silence!”
“There goes a virginal mind about to be raped.”
“Take off your rose colored bullshit sunglasses.”
“This offer good for one time only.”
“To avoid controversy, I decided to skip the next husband and go
straight to number 5.”
Survive on good taste alone?
“Shave more regularly, and drink less coffee, dear.”
“Well, talk baby-talk, fire-eater!”
“I don’t think she can handle the curves.”
She lectured: “Life is not an endless succession of sunny days.”
Alcohol free wine: all the bad taste without the good feelings.
She’s so fast she even has a zip code.”
sicko
most boringest
Buzz-whack it!
Oh, B—Movie!
mmmmarvelous
wake up!
on the house
get serious
digital ready
take to the stage, baby
I’ve only got 64K memory
vintage
Hey, shy guy!
stranger than paradise
be-bop, hip fly (shy guy)
sleaze
break every rule
hit single
tool around town
hold court
eat it up
wild thing
cameo appearance
sounds cool
primitive love
pit stop
a class act
skiffle
believably weird
horrendous
sells like Twinkies
Oh, take me all the way!
wasp
tribal
social suicide
taboo
animal
sinful
clear-cut
gift
Maverick
He’s a meat grinder!
boy toy
“You’re addicting!”
“She’s walking want!”
super freak
Nation-wide bad news
“She’s a Drive-Thru!”
bimbo
“Who gives a zip?’
zip = shit
bimbette
dazzling
yesteryear
“Top that!”
hi-tech
“Hey, glimmer bimbo!”
snappy
nifty
mellow
“Who loves ya, baby?”
macho guy
Twink music
“She’s a Twinkie.”
A-Team
flashy
storm rider
“Gowns by Helen Keller.”
tacky
street-fightin’ dude
“63% off!”
spontaneous combustion
fundamental
instantaneous
mandatory
flake
touchable
unfocused fluff
studio-sharp
metal
blue ruin
later
pistons
go
packed
state of the art
juxtaposed
alternative action
glandular mode
really?
serious
postpunk
beat
fully loaded
way gone
Beta
CD
EP
swell
zoned
apocalyptic
destruct-o
stuccoed
shranked
killer
shark attack
chowder
cactus eyes
shooters
flake
spicy
orgasmic
hyper
reptile
nasty
man overboard
industrial salsa
technopop
automatic pilot
cruise control
jet trash
rain dog
hog
horror show
thrashed
anal
beast
righteous
bitin’
bashed
ghetto breath
lizard
spanked
spanky
spank action
horrendous
blah, blah, blah
“What a Puritan!”
“Trounce me!”
gut feeling
new and improved
sex toy
simmer down
rack it up
“Put a condom on it!”
breakdance murder
bicoastal bore
turn up the heat
hot stuff
love is the hero
check out her G-force
Darth Vader
power-nap
nuclear
terrif
Not a career move.
Bye bye, mouseburger.
“The sport is cinchy.”
newsy
cyberpunk
appetite for speed
“Pack it, bitch.”
hacker fuckup
radical chic
bombshell
get a fresh perspective
big time
stupid = great
“C’mon, c’mon!”
y’know
triff = terrific
cliterectomy
no technique
cool like hot ice
sexual mutiny
d’ya = do you
“Hey, sweet shit!”
“They pulled it!”
resucked
the usual apocalypse
psychedelia
probe it
vic = victim
expert on failure
whips
love addict
case it out
mace and nutmeg
doink = nerd
major trash
tawdry
“What a bod!”
“Tooooo gross!’
make a drab do fab
chill out
Ralph it = vomit
wig it = blow your cork
grody
fast forward
“Eugh. Hard-boiled.”
trailblazing
yucky
a land yacht of a limo
give me an assist
enough is enough
lateral acceleration
hot-dog
power-[ ]
rocket
a total babe!
“Not a career decision.”
trendy = cool
megahunk
verve
desperado
frayed idealist
“Lighten up.”
bad news ambitions
slinky
prov = provocative
dress to express
catch it
last year’s stuff
lemme
sweetmeat
blisskrieg
no foreplay
little bitty peanut dick
MIDI In = cool
100% all girl
Darth-Vadered out
Cliteriffic!
“That movie had legs!”
vaginal jelly
gadfly
out-and-out
warped
go find a vic
hustler
whip it
peckerwood cop
subculture
scam
doinks
trashette
drippiest office drag
pair off
give some attitude
make a cool do cooler
bail = split
get real
Jaked = screwed
grody to the max
untamed
digitally sampled
wall-to-wall wetdream
yuckies
on the prowl
taco treat
G-force
rapid transit
gel
B-side
Lookie Lou
“She’s a mouseburger.”
cinchy
ex-megahunk
clunky
computer cowboy
high-tech lowlife
techies
hypermanic
sultry
get with it
beyond the limit
drop dead femininity
“Lemme see the clips!”
pedestrian = slow
broke dick dog
peanut dick
diesel balls
MIDI Out = a loser
why d’ya = why do you
real-life luxe
colorific
“You twit!”
vagina wine
lay it
droll
robber
due out
junkie
duets
creeper
The Warden’s Band
rad
“Burn rubber on me!”
this side of bizarre
“Stud alert!”
trashy
the direction
take a chill
Ralphed it = vomit
wigged it = blow it
bitchen
cheezy ass = fat girl
bubble butt
log cabin = dated
jazzed
black velvet!
Blacksploitation flick
camp
midwifed = birth assist
brash & bulishitty
primo
do your do
I’m no stepchild!
youthquake
sharkskin & mohair
junkyard dog
sleazofreak
Atilla the tot
power-lounging
AC/DC bisexual
alligator shit
batshit
ass-backwards
baby-juice = sperm
ganjah = marijuana
bait = foxy girl
black belt = the South
Horizontal Refreshment
baby pillows = boobs
love tips = boobs
corksucker
muff diver
brown sugar
bull-feathers = BS
subliterate
fash = fashion
savvy
suavely fickle
nighties & men’s suits
tartly
PG-13 thermostat
really locked in
slightly dented
tribal
clientele
bulk of her time
the pit crews
subteenies
sooty punks
fan fash
catch the spirit
rad
get wicked
comfy
shee-it
the full treatment
telephone number = $(million)
get down
f word city
pretty awesome
we knew going in
in the pocket
top gear
superbad
popocracy
accessorize
tranqed = tranquilized
you mail-order bitch
ace = joint
old shit
bull bitch = Amazon
backdoor = ass
bassackwards = ass backwards
ball-buster = sexy chick
bi = bisexual
cherry = young girl
semi-confused
blasted = drunk, stoned
tail-fruit = kids
headlights = boobs
Mae West City = boobs
bra buster = big tits
well, break my balls
bubbies = boobs
yestertech
a big downer
shtick = what you’re into
savvy diva
juxta-poseur
cleverly Garboesque
get a shrink
Ms. TNT
badass dude
incredibly psyched
junior-high tortures
bitchin’ dude
shakedown cruises
nosebleed seats = front
wanna-be
torn denim
spun weird
the Duke of Def
fresh garbage = hot!
jazz it up
fashion-forward
Polaroid it = photo it
audacious artifice
vapid wankers
7 figure = telephone #
boner
primo topic
chocolate music
the real treatment
bitchin’
training bra
ditz = a Cyndi Lauper
freaky freestyle
crotch watcher = nympho
BW = basic woman
about gone = drunk
action = sex
all-fired
balloon juice = BS
dirt-road = ass
ass hammer = motorcycle
best piece = girlfriend
big bloke = cocaine
white meat = sex partner
blow beets = vomit
boner
love-bubbles = boobs
playground = boobs
bust my nuts
bubble-head
bunny = whore
technorookie
high camp
Wollworth’s wacko
diva
crew cuts & cleavage
voluble
Retail Slut
maximum overdrive
so damned wahoooo
adolescent ugly
neat junk
head bangers
total image overhaul
high-testosterone type
bordello bustiers
Bruce—alikes
ape it
go for the glam
let ‘er rip
ad hoc confab
pro party goer
new era
nobly weird
video literate
techno-jungle beat
low-key
lean, rough & primeval
macho nonchalance
delicious
nuevo wavo
nipped
punked out
Eeeeuuuww! = yuck
burnt = ODed on
bust a cap = take a drug
crack my nuts = to come
butt-wip = kiss-ass
buzzed-up = high
Carrie = cocaine
chicken-shit
cat’s ass
Cecil = cocaine
megaleggy
climb = fuck
clunk = an idiot
codger
coke-freak
coke-party
Corine = cocaine
croaker = corpse
crackers = crazy
crashed = drunk
crock of shit
crumb = a louse
cubehead = acidhead
cuddle-bunny
dingey = happy/crazy
“Well, Hiiiiii!”
frightening TV
loot
game-show grubbiness
His Dandyness
guitar pluckers
professional party goer
blitz kids
calculated cool
bratty dropout
disco rhythm machine
low—key cool
anti-diva
hands—on involvement
the ultimate
I seize up
nip it
spaz style
K Mart budget
bust my nuts = to come
butch = lesbian
old buzzard = old man
cancer-stick = cigarette
playboy bashing
Cauc = Caucasian
China white = heroin
Chicago green = grass
cock—teaser
coffee = LSD
speed—freak
concubine
walking dandruff = lice
cop = buy marijuana
preserved = drunk
dead-meat = corpse
couch = fuck
crackbrain = crazy
babyshit
Cripes!
sparrow-fart
crum bum = stupid person
cubes = testicles
bed-bunny
“Ooh, girl!”
sub-flea—market rates
video wash
his-and—hers _____
trendies
poseurs
PR types
ultra—mod
tough Teflon brainpan
youthquake
half-human
monochromatic
cross-gender cool
hands—on
disposable loyalty
power hungry
disco inferno
burn = lust after
bush patrol = horny guys
pop my nuts = to come
button = clit
buzzed = high
camp it up = act faggy
cap = buy or use drugs
cat-house cutie
megaleggy accomplice
Illinois green = grass
classy—chassis
clown
prick—teaser
corksucker
coked = high on coke
coke-head
cop a buzz = high on grass
’cotics = narcotics
cow shit
cracked = crazy
crap-list
crisp = high on grass
bird-pee
cuckoo = fool
culo = asshole
Cupid’s cave = vagina
cliterific!
big dig’ bucks
stressless shopping
fork it over
gushing
in sync
hyperacquisitive ethos
telephonically speaking
couch—potatodom
diehard shopper
behemoth
no-stop shopping
delirious addict
bleat = speak like lamb
clone operation
seat-of-pants style
big-boys-only game
buying blitz
cathode-ray commerce
“Look, Ma!”
swarthy verve
hefty
go-getter
bona fide pro
rag—to-richer
honcho
Regular Guy-hood
“Punch it!”
couch back = lay back
Tsk.
successoids
“Recline for future generations.”
“All technique and no feelings.”
real-life luxe = luxury in the here and now
“It’s gonna rain like a cow pissin’ on a flat rock.”
“You’ll take phone when I give phone!”
slightly slinky, slightly subversive and slightly psychotic
Democracy doesn’t live here
anywhere
she met me at the gate, and she had my horn
“Are these dudes the best or what?”
“Marry me, Ginevra, and I’ll let you wear my Dalmation pill box.”
“You’ll be giving much attitude in these pillboxes.”
“I’m going to rearrange your face.”
“Put yourself in a party position.”
“You need your buns nailed.”
“Nailed his buns to the wall.”
BTO = Boys Together Outrageously (or Orgasmically)
“She’ll go do her do [have an affair] and tiptoe back home.”
“We knew going in what was happening.”
sea of tuxedoed executives
fish-net-stocking overdrive
she walks it like she talks it
“Yeah, she’s a real crotch watcher.”
“Rebel style has gone mass market.”
“We’ll burn that bridge after we cross it.”
“I’m sure you can relate.”
“It gets better.”
“It can get better without me.”
Alice B. Toklas = a marijuana brownie
barbecue = a woman who looks good enough to eat
table-grade = a woman who looks good enough to eat
“Kick ’em in the Bible Belt!”
“She’s semi-confused.”
Silky: “Need chap-stick for them lips [vagina]!”
“I’m doin’ things that haven’t got a name yet.”
“Pop music is subliterate, flash-cut music video . . .”
obsessive sculpture of self
“Fash is her shtick.”
“She dresses for maximum overdrive.”
“She and I are really locking into each other.”
“If the shoe fits, wear it on your head.”
“Oh, you’re such a badass dude, Lemmy. You’re so damned wahoooo!”
slightly damaged groceries
“These guys look slightly dented. They’re affable old thrashers who
have tucked a few beers beneath the counter to brave the tide of
exuberant worshipers.”
affable old thrashers
“Nearly everyone wandering the aisles has well-established holes in
the knees of his jeans. Very many display the gangling wrists,
cracked voices and distressed complexions the Lord giveth for a
couple of rough years.”
“The kids in the nosebleed seats.”
“The Johnny Rotton school of hygiene.”
“Accessorize with bruises.”
“Invent thyself . . . and charge it to your parents if you can.”
trendies, club kids, career dandies
“Gay street styles: hanging clumps of keys and bandannas speaks
volumes about the wearer’s love-making style. Black kids in American
cities used semaphore: how you laced your Adidas said who you were.”
“Image bombardment; it takes some persistence to penetrate our tough
Teflon brainpans.”
tonsorial semaphore = the message you send when you cut your hair
different
surreal nineteenth-century
guttersnipes
“When tracing the history of rock, haircuts are the equivalent of
carbon-dating techniques.”
vibrated between glamour and the gutter
“Tina Turner’s electric shredded wheat.”
“They looked like your mother’s underwear.”
“I seize up. Oh, I want to weep. Rock cool co-opted by
ten-year-olds.”
“You gotta customize to be cool.”
Big Chill Deepfreeze = Mom and Dad’s closet
punked out and sproused up
“His Thorazine is wearing off.”
“David Byrne whined and squawked and jerked as though his Thorazine
was wearing off.”
“Heavy breathing in bodices tight enough to challenge the
involuntary muscle groups.”
“Not worth the powder it’ud take to blow it up.”
bust a cap = take a narcotic
cab-joint a place that deals in illegal stuff
fundamentalist vigilante
baptized in electric water
C and H = a mixture of cocaine and heroin
candy = hard drugs: cocaine, hashish, LSD and barbiturates
cap out = stop using drugs
cartwheel = amphetamine capsule (+) white cross
“He cashed in his chips.” = he died
catastrophe cat-ass-trophy = hell of an ass or lousy ass, depending
catch = a matrimonially
desirable guy or gal
chicken powder = amphetamines
chloral hydrate = Mickey Finn
chip = to use drugs occasionally, not addictively
center of attraction = vagina
chrematophobia = irrational fear of money or money matters
click = to get on well with a
person or idea
“Sticks like shit to a shovel.”
closet case = a guy who does something in secret
club sandwich = sex for 3
coast = to experience the effects of a drug
cock-pipe = a penis-shaped pipe for smoking grass
“Guy’s got coitophobia!” (fear of fucking)
Colorado Kool-aid = Coors beer
cop a cherry = deflower a virgin
co-pilot Ben = Benzedrine
co-pilots = amphetamine tablets
needle-candy, dynamite, sweet stuff = narcotics
cowyard confetti, cow-confetti, meadow-mayonnaise = bullshit
crack a fat = get an erection (Australian)
cradle-custard = babyshit
crater-face = someone with acne
creamed foreskins = creamed chipped beef
crim. con. = adultery, an abbreviation of criminal conversation
“For crying out loud!”
cube = a packet of morphine
“Here today, gone later today.”
“She’s an endangered species.”
“She’s a cuff-link on her husband’s arm.”
selective, upwardly mobile greed
diamond infested beetle brooches
“The mall never closes unless there’s a power failure.”
honey-voiced phone operator
“This is everything a cubic zirconia could be and more.”
radio-phone-in yak fest
disease-of-the-week telethon
pseudo-Vegas schmaltz
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